Here’s the thing if you don’t make the commitment in anything in life you’re not going to succeed. That means failed relationships, failed businesses, failed health and failed dreams. I’ve been there. I’ve made the half ass commitment and seen dreams disappear and relationships fail. It wasn’t until recently that the half ass commitment mentality hit me. Since this is a page all about relationships I’ll relate it to that but we can half ass anything in life.
You can’t have a successful relationship without committing to the process. You can’t half ass the relationship and expect great results. You have to put your whole ass in. It’s the same with trying to find a relationship. I have people come to me wanting to use my services but they can’t even commit to a consultation call! They don’t make the commitment to make the call time work with their schedule, they don’t show up for the call, the don’t show up to do the work. But they still complain about their dating life. They wonder why they aren’t finding high quality commitment minded dates. They wonder what they’re doing wrong. They wonder why they keep falling into the same dating patterns with no success. It’s because of the half ass mentality. They are not showing up to do the work. I can immediately see why it’s not working for them. They’re not committed they’re just interested.
You have to become committed to the process in whatever you want in life. If you don’t you’ll see failure more than success. You have to become committed to becoming the best version of yourself, identifying what isn’t working, making the change, being committed to the change and continue to move forward. Commitment is not easy. It comes with icky “holy moly that limiting behavior is still in me” constant growth ah ha moments.
How are you going to show up in your dating life? Are you committed to finding someone and creating an amazing life giving relationship? Or are you just interested in the thought of dating, possibly finding someone?
Do some deep soul searching when answering that question. I had to recently. I had the ah ha holy moly that limiting belief is still in me. I immediately recognized that it was holding me back. I was not committed to a process in a particular situation in my life. And I hadn’t been for years because of past heartbreak. When I recognized it, it was the most freeing feeling and it felt damn good to get it out there and begin the process of growth.
If you’re committed to the process of finding high quality dates and finding the one it’s time to get to work. Men don’t magically fall from the trees. Show up, become the best version of yourself and see the shift start to take place.
Life, Love & Limiting Beliefs
“Breaking leads to opening. Opening allows expansion. Expansion creates more space. Space lets growth in. Lean into the break, the feeling, the uneasiness of it all. Goodness awaits you.”
Recently I had to do some more breaking. I was holding onto limiting beliefs I didn’t even know I had!
It was through a conversation with a friend and some other unexpected experiences that made me stare those ugly fellas right in the face. You know the kind you’re like holy moly those exist still…in me! I teach on limiting beliefs in relationships and I still have those suckers! What?!?
It was scary, I wanted to retreat back into my comfort zone but I knew that if I did love would not win. Freedom would have been lost. Pure bliss and what I’ve been seeking would have been put on hold again.
It’s in the discomfort, the breaking apart that freedom is found. It’s where happiness is expanded and our purpose prevails. If we don’t accept, feel and recognize the pain and the cracks in our soul we bury them instead of healing them. It’s in this moment we have 2 choices to make – Do we let this crack continue to break us? Or do we let the light in and fill the crack with beautiful things?
If we let the crack continue to slowly expand while blocking the light it becomes filled with more dirt, larger holes and more pain. We never fully experience beauty and freedom in this place. If we start to clean the break out and let more and more light shine in we can create something absolutely beautiful. We can turn our pain into passion, our hurts into happiness and the past into purpose.
I love how the universe shows us where we need to go, what we need to work on and gives us beautiful sprinkles of what can be if we just do the work to get there. Life is meant to be absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and enjoyed to the fullest.
What are you holding back today? What do you need to break free from to let the light in?
Make the conscious choice to break free from limiting beliefs, behaviors and relationships. And do the damn work to get there.
Let me know how it goes in the comments below.
Create a Catchy Intro!
How many times have you received a new message from a possible date with the words “Hi” “Hey” or “How are you?” Probably too many times to count! It’s time to spice it up! Do you want to stand out from the crowd or do you want to blend in with the rest of the millions of singles online? That’s why I created this Become Your Own Matchmaker Online Dating Series so that you can date successfully and stand out above all the rest!
In today’s tip I’m going to share with you a few tips on how to create an introduction that stands out. Remember you only have 7 seconds to make a great 1st impression and usually only have ONE chance to get someone to respond back. So it’s important to make that introduction catchy, cute and NOT creepy!
When writing a stellar introduction it’s important to remember a few tricks.
- Use proper grammar. Bad grammar online is a turn off. Including texting slang and abbreviations. Stay away from ur, u, wat, r, yo and everything in between.
- An introduction should not focus on physical compliments. You might think it’s a nice to send compliments like “You’re gorgeous” or “Hey sexy” but it looks like you’re focusing on physical traits more than getting to know someone for who they are as a person. Especially if you’re a guy sending this to a girl often it makes women feel a little creeped out because we wonder is that your pick up line for all girls. Are you just focusing on someone for their looks or do you really want to get to know me as a person?
- Don’t use the horrible H’s, the “Hi” “Hey” or “How are you?” This is your time to get their attention. Instead of the normal hi and how are you’s ask a creative question. This will up your chances of them actually reading your message and getting a response.
- Most important be flirty & confident! When you radiate with friendliness, fun and common respect (without using Hey Sexy) you’re more likely to get responses from high quality dates.
Want a list of creative introductions and more ideas on how to be successful with online dating? Sign up for my Become Your Own Matchmaker: Online Dating Series Course HERE!
Make Sure Your Pictures are On Point
Have you heard the saying first impressions are everything? It’s true! Especially in the world of online dating. You literally have a few seconds to make a great first impression and have someone click on your profile. Not only do you want people to click on your profile, you want the right people to click on your profile!
- Your pictures need to tell a story of who you are. Post photos that show your personality, your hobbies, what you like to do on the weekends. Do you like rock climbing? Post a photo of you climbing. It might spark a conversation with someone with similar interests and it shows you have an exciting life.
- Make sure the pictures are current! There’s nothing worse than showing up to a date expecting someone 10 years younger. Be truthful about who you are. You don’t want someone to feel lied to, the date won’t go in your favor.
- Don’t show too much skin! There’s nothing worse than seeing a picture of a man flexing in the mirror with his nasty toliet behind him. And ladies keep it classy! If you’re showing too much boob in the profile picture you’re going to attract all kinds of sleezy men. Don’t be surprised when they show up to the date wanting one thing and I’m not talking about a committed relationship.
- Post 3-5 current pictures on your profile. There’s no need to overload your profile with too much information. Keep some of your life a mystery so there’s lots to talk about at the date!
Let me know how the above tips work for you in your online profile! For more online dating tips check out my Online Dating Webinar here.