Love can be found in the most unusual and unexpected places. Have you noticed it’s often found when we least expect it? That’s why I believe love can be found in the midst of social distancing with a few creative solutions.
The current state of our world definitely creates some challenges to finding love but also creates a new perspective on dating and making connections. Remember the days of endless flirting at a concert or social gathering? Or the impromptu dates at a local bar? Well even those days will come back again soon enough but in the meantime singles can take advantage of social distancing and create new ways to find love and connections.
When social distancing was first announced I thought how are people going to date and make connections? I’m not going to lie I had a freak out moment because I’m a matchmaker and my daily operations consist of setting up dates and connecting people. Before the coronavirus I always encouraged people to get off online dating platforms and endless text messages to actually meeting people in person. But after my slight freak out moment it hit me that this can be a valuable time to create deeper connections, practice intense self care and for singles to date more successfully. That’s right date more successfully.
You might be thinking date more successfully during social distancing? That’s crazy. Okay stay with me for a moment. Here’s the thing, I’ve noticed that during this time people are being more authentic and more open about expressing their feelings. It’s in these vulnerable moments of uncertainty of what tomorrow holds we tune in to what is truly important.
I believe we have two choices during this new normal of social distancing. We can either let the panic, the fear and the negativity consume us or we can use it to draw closer to the art of creating authentic relationships. When crisis hits and the future is uncertain people begin to yearn for deeper relationships, they begin to connect on deeper levels than before. Conversations become more authentic than shallow. And vulnerability is at an all time high. We begin to share our feelings, our hopes, our fears and what we want in our future. We want to be near other people and learn more about them. We crave the connection.
So how do we create relationships and more connection, especially potential dating relationships, in a time when we can’t leave our homes? I know dating can be challenging in itself let alone in a quarantine. So let’s be creative and have some fun with it! I’ve created a list of 7 things to do during the quarantine to make your dating life more successful.
This is the time to join several online dating sites and start swiping. Even if you wrote off online dating it’s time to give it a try again. Just think of the millions of singles that are stuck at home and looking for conversation or something to do. Now more than ever more singles are online dating. Major online dating sites are seeing a boost in the number of messages and registrations. And some are seeing an increase of 30% more messages.
Everything has slowed down which means we’re taking more time to have conversations. We’re not rushing through a dinner date or off to the next event we have to go to. So this is the perfect time to get to know your date. What are their heart centered qualities? What can you find out that’s great about them? Really get to know them for who they are. You never know what great connections you’ll make during this time. Use the 36 Questions that Lead to Love by Arthur Aron.
Most importantly make sure you’re taking care of you. Use this time to practice extra self care. Have you been putting off starting an exercise routine, eating healthier or reading a self development book? Now is the perfect time to start. Some other practices to help you during this time could be journaling or meditating. Just make sure you’re focusing on practicing self love daily.
Once you find someone you’d like to meet in person plan a virtual date. Set up a time for a video chat on Skype or Facetime. Make the date special by being creative. Send your date a bottle of wine, flowers or the same takeout you’re having. Come up with a fun icebreaker game like two truths and a lie, play Heads Up or play the 5 Second Rule Game. You could even cook a new receipe together, watch a movie or learn a new skill while video chatting.
Try a virtual speed dating party! The best part is you’ll get to meet multiple people in one night that you otherwise might not ever meet. Each date is only a 3-5 minutes long and if you like them you’ll get to connect with your compatible matches after the party. Check out SwoonMe Eventsfor more information.
Check out virtual happy hours. A lot of niche groups are offering virtual happy hours where everyone can join on a video conference call setting. Check out local meetup groups and see what they have to offer. When we connect with people who enjoy similar interests and activities it opens the doors to possible new amazing connections.
Or set up your own virtual happy hour. Invite 5 friends and have each friend invite 5 other friends over a video conferencing software. And make sure your friends know to invite some of their cute single friends or family members! The virtual happy hour could turn into a wine tasting or trivia night.
You never know who you could meet even while social distancing. Remember to keep your options open and try something new each week to keep the connections flowing. Soon this will be over and you’ll have a great stories to tell of who you met while in quarantine.
One of my favorite parts of my job is hosting singles events. Our events are a great way to create connection with people who otherwise would never meet. So we’ve designed it so that everyone gets to meet and engage in conversation. After seeing hundreds of singles at my events I started to notice patterns. I noticed who was going to be successful and who wasn’t going to be successful.
So I’ve created some key takeaways to help you be successful at making connections at events and even out and about.
Watch the video below for some key tips on how to make the most of your next event.
Did you know your date can immediately feel your energy? I’ve worked with thousands of people and they all say they can feel the vibe of the person they’re on the date with. They sense when the person is cynical about men, nervous, friendly, approachable and the list goes on.
What do you want your date to say about you? Do you want them to ask you out again? Do you want to have fun on the date? Even if you don’t want them to ask you out again you might as well have fun on the date. So instead of being negative Nancy or cynical Susan make a conscious choice to shift your vibe from low to high. When you make this shift you’ll automatically start attracting higher quality dates and your dating life will change dramatically!
Are you ready to learn how to instantly raise your vibe to attract better dates, have fun on dates and get to that second date?
This video gives you actionable tips to apply to your life to help you create a more successful love life. Watch the video below!
I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.
Life is a beautiful journey. A journey to be embraced, to experience deeply and to love wholeheartedly. I’m convinced people miss soul connections by being close minded to the world. When we stay in our own little closed off bubble to the rest of the world we miss out on the beauty that was designed just for us to experience. We miss beautiful experiences, places and people. I am always awestruck by the people I get to connect with across the world. The lifestyles, the accents, the people fascinate me. What if we looked at love and soul connections with a more open mind and heart? Would we love more? Would we find love faster and fall deeper? Would we experience breathtaking passion more than heartbreak? I’m some how convinced we would. So let’s focus on living with vulnerability and wholeheartedness. Approach each potential connection with an open mind of what the connection could bring into your life. Don’t dare miss your next soul connection.
5 ways you might miss a soul connection:
You limit your demographic connection. The world is full of possibilities and beautiful connections. If we limit our connections to our own town or city then we are missing out on so many beautifully designed people. People who could spark something in our soul that we have never experienced before. People who could bring us new experiences. Never limit connection by demographics. I have talked to the most amazing people across the world. They broaden my world and make me crave new experiences. The world has so much to teach us, it would be a shame to narrow our possibilities all for convenience.
2. You keep your expectations unreachable. When looking for a soulmate experience it is important to stay true to your values, core beliefs and self. However, don’t let superficial reasons get in the way of connecting with another soul. People often limit connections based solely on someone’s appearance or on a false impression. We forget to dig into who the person really is and we disregard the person before really learning about who they are. We may miss the most beautiful souls due to superficial rejections. Are you really willing to miss the most amazing love affair of your life due to someone not having the exact height or hair color that you seek?
3. Social circles may influence who we keep out of our lives. Don’t let your friends determine your love life. If the kind hearted country boy steals your city girl heart go with it. Soulmate romantic love can be rare. When you find it cherish it.
4. We make limitations on age. I often see women put limitations on age. For example, even though a woman may be pushing 40, she won’t date a man over 40. This cuts the dating pool dramatically. When we make such tight expectations on who we will and will not date we lower our chances of finding a soulmate and just a date in general.
5. We stay focused on our phone instead of the people around us. Make it a point to stay off your phone while in line for coffee, look up, smile and say hello to those standing near you. My conscious thought is what if I miss a connection, a life changing connection. You never know who will cross your path and I would hate to miss a soul connection because I was disengaged in the world around me.
We miss out on beautiful soul connections that will rock our world by the high expectations we place on finding the ideal partner. Soul connections offer us growth, passion, love or just teach us a beautiful lesson. Sometimes the connection comes from the most unexpecting person. We need to keep our heart open so that we do not miss these divine connections. What would it look like if we traveled through life with an open heart and mind so that we embrace the beauty that comes before us? That is a life worth living.