Are Relationships Hard?

Are Relationships Hard?

Are Relationships Hard?

I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating.  Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.”  The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship.  For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating.  I couldn’t believe what I was reading!

 

Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD!  Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good.  We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great.  The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.

 

So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating.  That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.  

 

When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?”  Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life.  When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities.  I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.

 

When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others.  We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.  

 

Relationships are meant to compliment us.  They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust.  So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve.  Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.

 

Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship

 

  1. Practice self love.  We teach other people how to love us.  When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others.  We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
  2. Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own.  If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner.  Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship.  I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship.  Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
  3. Practice gratitude towards your partner.  Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner.  If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out.  And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people.  Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!

 

To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies.  I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies.  It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.

Life, Love & Limiting Beliefs

Life, Love & Limiting Beliefs

Life, Love & Limiting Beliefs

 

“Breaking leads to opening. Opening allows expansion.  Expansion creates more space.  Space lets growth in.  Lean into the break, the feeling, the uneasiness of it all.  Goodness awaits you.”

author unknown

 

Recently I had to do some more breaking. I was holding onto limiting beliefs I didn’t even know I had!

It was through a conversation with a friend and some other unexpected experiences that made me stare those ugly fellas right in the face.  You know the kind you’re like holy moly those exist still…in me!  I teach on limiting beliefs in relationships and I still have those suckers! What?!?

It was scary, I wanted to retreat back into my comfort zone but I knew that if I did love would not win. Freedom would have been lost. Pure bliss and what I’ve been seeking would have been put on hold again.

It’s in the discomfort, the breaking apart that freedom is found. It’s where happiness is expanded and our purpose prevails.  If we don’t accept, feel and recognize the pain and the cracks in our soul we bury them instead of healing them.  It’s in this moment we have 2 choices to make – Do we let this crack continue to break us? Or do we let the light in and fill the crack with beautiful things?

If we let the crack continue to slowly expand while blocking the light it becomes filled with more dirt, larger holes and more pain.  We never fully experience beauty and freedom in this place.  If we start to clean the break out and let more and more light shine in we can create something absolutely beautiful.  We can turn our pain into passion, our hurts into happiness and the past into purpose.

I love how the universe shows us where we need to go, what we need to work on and gives us beautiful sprinkles of what can be if we just do the work to get there.  Life is meant to be absolutely breathtakingly beautiful and enjoyed to the fullest.

What are you holding back today? What do you need to break free from to let the light in?

Make the conscious choice to break free from limiting beliefs, behaviors and relationships. And do the damn work to get there.

Let me know how it goes in the comments below.

XO 💋

Amanda Rose

Don’t Social Media Stalk

Don’t Social Media Stalk

I felt like I had to put this out there because I don’t know how many times someone saw my online dating profile and then searched for my social media pages.  I think it’s totally okay to check out someone’s social media accounts, it gives an extra glimpse into who they are. However, I highly recommend not to message them on the online dating site and then on all their social media accounts and then message them again when they don’t respond… Yes I’ve had that happen on several occasions.  It looks creepy and gives out the wrong vibe.  I even had a couple guys get mad at me for not responding to them after I obviously didn’t swipe right on Tinder.  I’m like “I don’t even know you!”

So when it comes to online dating don’t cyber stalk.  If someone doesn’t respond to your first or second message or your right swipe don’t track them down on social media.  Cyber stalking looks desperate, is creepy and will not win you a date.  However it might win you a restraining order.  If you’re not getting a response from one person just move on to the next.  You’ll connect with the right person.  You can’t force a connection that’s not there.  Also keep yourself safe from cyber stalking.  If you have an erry feeling about someone delete them and don’t respond.

Also resist the urge to social media stalk someone new that you’re dating.  Why are you checking up on someone that you’re newly dating?  It’s easy to take things that you see on social media and over analyze what’s actually going on.  I’ve seen many people cause unnecessary drama in a new relationship over something they saw on social media.  Get to know someone for who they are not for what you see online.  Unless of course their social media is filled with pictures of them and their spouse or any other major red flags! Then you know just to run in the opposite direction.  Otherwise if they seem quite normal then let social media go for a while and get to know them.