One of my favorite parts of my job is hosting singles events. Our events are a great way to create connection with people who otherwise would never meet. So we’ve designed it so that everyone gets to meet and engage in conversation. After seeing hundreds of singles at my events I started to notice patterns. I noticed who was going to be successful and who wasn’t going to be successful.
So I’ve created some key takeaways to help you be successful at making connections at events and even out and about.
Watch the video below for some key tips on how to make the most of your next event.
They show up. They do the work and they’re the ones that find the best dates.
Every single time.
When I see people becoming the best version of themselves they are the successful ones.
They are the ones that make things happen.
They don’t give up. They don’t nag and complain. They’re patient with the process and don’t rush it.
They are the ones that have interesting dating lives and enjoy the journey.
If I could give you just one tip today. It would be to become the best version of yourself. Learn how to be happy without someone. Learn how to date yourself.
When we can achieve these things we start to attract higher quality people, more dates, and more love and happiness into our lives.
I had someone tell me that they couldn’t be happy and fulfilled until they found the “one.” I tried to explain to this person that you are your “one.” You have to become whole without someone else. When we become whole before finding our partner we have more to offer. A partner is not meant to complete us. A partner is meant to compliment us. Creating the idea that we need to find someone to make us whole puts a whole lot of pressure on another person. That’s pressure that no one should have to bear.
When we approach dating with the mindset that we “need” someone to make us whole we put blocks on the dating process. We block healthy whole people from coming into our lives, we sabotage relationships and create unhealthy patterns immediately.
This is why it’s so important to create a life that you’re fulfilled with before finding your “one.” Your one will just compliment your life and make it even better. You’ll also attract more high quality dates when you are filled with happiness, passion and gratitude for the life you already have.
I challenge you to create the life of your dreams now not “after you find a partner, after you get that job, after this or that.” Why are you waiting on doing things you love? Why are you waiting based on future wants?
Do those things now! Right now stop what you’re doing and take one baby step towards doing something you’ve always wanted to do.
Book that trip.
Take that class.
Go on the date.
Start that business.
Write the book.
Whatever it is take a step to fulfilling your dreams and life now. And as you do you’ll notice the old dating patterns start to fade, maybe you’re no longer attracted to half assers, you become fulfilled and you expect the same in your date. It’s like magic when you put two souls together that are already fulfilled. Those are the couples that make big things happen. That create goals and dreams together.
It’s a new year! A time for new beginnings, getting clear on what you want and making it happen in 2018.
Every year I sit down and write intentions for the new year. Intentions on what I want to happen in the new year. It’s been everything from business goals, travel to exciting places, to relationships. Did you know you can be intentional about your relationships? You can manifest what you want in your relationships and create the life you’re madly obsessed with.
And if you’re reading this you’re probably single because it’s all about dating. And that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to take you from being single to creating a life you’re absolutely in love with, with the one you love.
So here’s the thing… you have to be intentional with where you want to be 1 year, 5 years and 10 years from now.
You might have received a certain degree to get to the job you have right? The job didn’t come without putting in the effort to get there. The same thing apply’s to finding true healthy life long love. It takes work. It takes commitment. It takes inspired action.
So my question to you is are you being intentional with your dating life? Are you clear on the type of relationship you want?
If you’re not crystal clear and intentional on what you want to bring in your life then you’ll bring all kinds of distractions. You’ll waste time on dates that go no where. You’ll waste time on heartbreak, confusion and lots of questioning about why you’re not where you want to be.
Here’s the thing…you are what you attract. You can manifest the life of your dreams. You can manifest the relationship of your dreams. And it starts with being intentional and crystal clear in your dating life. 2018 is the year for high quality dates, for less heartbreak, for more self love and to find the one.
In the video below I’ve included 3 Steps to Manifest Your Soulmate. Check it out. Apply the steps and watch the magic happen.
You’ve been hurt, your heart has been broken way too many times to count, and you’re stuck wondering are all men like this? Do you just wait for the ball to drop with each and every date?
The thing about dating is we’ve all had our heart broken. We’ve all experienced broken trust or crushed expectations in one form or the other. It sucks, it hurts and it can be damn hard to love and trust again. But the truth of it is…that new date is NOT your ex. He’s not the guy who broke your heart. He is a brand spankin new person with new qualities, new traits and new things to bring into your life.
And then this happens…we start to look for the red flags and what could possibly be wrong with this person before getting to know their heart? When we look for the bad before really getting to know someone we can immediately set up the relationship for failure. We start to nit pick qualities, we start to compare them to an ex, we look for ways that could stop a good thing before it even gets going.
But what if we completely changed how we approached our date? What if we focused on looking for a date’s strengths instead of immediately looking for things that could go wrong? If we approach a date with a positive mindset and look for the good qualities instead of focusing on the bad the whole dynamic changes. Instead of writing someone off immediately because of a superficial qualities we may find a hidden gem underneath it all.
I want to challenge you. On your next date look at the man across from you and ask yourself what is amazing about this person? Is he respectful to the waiter? Is he funny? Does he talk with passion about things significant to him?
Of course if the date is just horrible from the beginning and the date is totally disrespectful there’s no need to continue to pull out possible good qualities. Just don’t write off a potentially great date before it even starts.
When I was dating here’s what I would do…I would focus on what is amazing about this person? What can I learn about them? I would forget about all the things that could go wrong and instead focus on all the things that could possibly go right. When I made this simple mindset shift around the dating process my dating life completely changed. I not only apply this to my dating life but all my relationships. I have a deeper appreciation for the people that are in my life. I constantly look for how they’re amazing and why I’m so grateful that I have them in my life.
So I challenge you to walk into your next date thinking “what is amazing about this person?” I promise they’ll feel your positive energy, the date will be more relaxed and you’ll have a lot more fun.
It’s Saturday and I’m feeling freaking full of gratitude, peace and love. Yes all the hippie qualities that I’m wildly obsessed with. I got invites to parties and bars this weekend but I’m so loving the party at my house. I’m at home with my kids, I meditated and did a total goddess yoga flow, filling my body with pure raw foods and working on creative content for my business. That’s what gets my energy juices flowing. I would rather zen out then hit up the hottest party. I would rather explore and travel than spend my time at a club. I feel like I have reached my inner badass and I’m so in love with her. If you’re inner badass is party hopping then rock on sister. That’s just not me anymore. But don’t get me wrong I love a good glam party once in a while just not the club hopping type.
I spent 30 plus years trying to uncover and figure out my inner truth and authenticity. I was afraid that if I let all that out I would be rejected and ridiculed. Which is right, I was rejected and ridiculed by some when I started speaking my truth. In that process a funny thing happened. The yucky vibers, the people that held me back from experiencing my greatness, the toxic relationships and everything in between started dropping out of my life. I lost friends and family members during that time. But those people were not my people.
As I reflect on my life and the people I’m surrounded with today intense gratitude fills my heart. The inner circle of friends that I have are powerhouse, authentic, truth tellers, bad ass, empowering, world changer people. I socialize with dreamers, entrepreneurs, entertainment industry influencers and bad ass every day people. This did not come overnight. It came from a process of mindset, behavior and environment changes. I made a conscious decision I wanted something better and bigger than the mediocre that surrounded me. If you want a change in your life, or if you’re tired of where you are now and know there’s more to life than this, I’m here to tell you there is! It’s time to tap into your inner badass and let her roar.
My inner badass was a process and I’m still working on her everyday. This is about rising up and being absolutely in love and confident with who you are. My biggest dream is to see all women tap into their God given power and create a life they are absolutely wildly in obsessed with. So I’m going to share with you my 5 top tips to invoke the inner badass within you. The same things that changed my life and put me on the path to success.
Clean Sweep Your Inner Circle. Have you heard the saying your future is determined by the 5 people you’re closest to? Well it’s true! If your inner circle consists of people who gossip, have no ambition, gold diggers aka women who want to mooch off others, complainers and naysayers then you’ve got some serious sweeping to do. Start networking and making connections with people who are where you want to be. I have the confidence to walk away from any person that gives me yucky vibes. Like if you don’t make my energy radiate – peace out sucker. Spending time on negative energy suckers is a waste of time. They will emotionally drain you and limit your ability to succeed. Be choosy of who you let into your life! You have one beautiful life surround yourself with people who radiate with good vibes!
Mindset is Everything. Get yo’ mind right! If you’re dwelling on limiting beliefs and thoughts then that’s where your life is going to stay. Badass women know that their thoughts shape their life. What are you telling yourself every single day? Is it I’ll never get out of this situation or is it I have the power to create the life of my dreams. Fill your life with positive, life giving, powerful thoughts with books, affirmations, podcasts, tv shows, and eliminate everything else. I only watch positive tv shows, I listen to powerful podcasts while getting ready, I have a Girl Boss music playlist that inspires me, my book shelf is full of empowerment self help books and my bathroom mirror is full of affirmations written in lipstick. I soak that stuff in! If you want to become a badass you have to make some changes worthy of badassery.
Gratitude. Before I even get out of bed I think of 5 things I’m grateful for. It immediately puts a smile on my face, creates a success mindset and sets my day. Instead of dreading the new day I’m ready to tackle it and do amazing things. I also keep a gratitude journal and write down those 5 things while meditating. Successful people practice gratitude! Practice an attitude of gratitude.
Meditation. Meditation is a key part of my life and success. I meditate every day, no exceptions. I find a comfortable spot and meditate for at least 10 minutes. i might light a candle, zen out on my yoga mat or just sit somewhere with no distractions. My spiritual practice is the foundation of my life. Get connected, pray, meditate, God designs things to happen beyond our wildest imagination and will guide us in the process. That daily 10 minutes of quiet will change your life.
Inner and Outer Wellness. Taking care of my body is also a spiritual practice. Our bodies are temples housing some amazing stuff. If we feel like crap how are we going to enjoy life and accomplish all that we want to? What you put in your body comes out. So if you’re filling up on all this processed junk it’s going to reflect in your appearance and how you feel. I challenge you to eat complete raw unprocessed organic foods for 30 days. The change will be shocking. When I first tried this I did it for 21 days, lost 13 lbs, my energy level rocketed, my skin was glowing and I felt absolutely amazing. I also have a daily yoga practice. Yoga was life changing for me! My stress levels diminished, my body was leaner and more flexible, sex life sky rocketed, back pain disappeared and it is the best natural high I’ve ever had.
Ok goddesses, what changes are you going to make to tap into your inner badass? I want to hear your thoughts in the comments below!
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