Love at First Quarantine: Dating and Creating Connection During the Coronavirus

Love at First Quarantine: Dating and Creating Connection During the Coronavirus

Love can be found in the most unusual and unexpected places.  Have you noticed it’s often found when we least expect it? That’s why I believe love can be found in the midst of social distancing with a few creative solutions.

The current state of our world definitely creates some challenges to finding love but also creates a new perspective on dating and making connections. Remember the days of endless flirting at a concert or social gathering?  Or the impromptu dates at a local bar? Well even those days will come back again soon enough but in the meantime singles can take advantage of social distancing and create new ways to find love and connections.

 

When social distancing was first announced I thought how are people going to date and make connections?  I’m not going to lie I had a freak out moment because I’m a matchmaker and my daily operations consist of setting up dates and connecting people.  Before the coronavirus I always encouraged people to get off online dating platforms and endless text messages to actually meeting people in person.  But after my slight freak out moment it hit me that this can be a valuable time to create deeper connections, practice intense self care and for singles to date more successfully. That’s right date more successfully. 

 

You might be thinking date more successfully during social distancing? That’s crazy. Okay stay with me for a moment.  Here’s the thing, I’ve noticed that during this time people are being more authentic and more open about expressing their feelings.  It’s in these vulnerable moments of uncertainty of what tomorrow holds we tune in to what is truly important.

I believe we have two choices during this new normal of social distancing.  We can either let the panic, the fear and the negativity consume us or we can use it to draw closer to the art of creating authentic relationships. When crisis hits and the future is uncertain people begin to yearn for deeper relationships, they begin to connect on deeper levels than before.  Conversations become more authentic than shallow. And vulnerability is at an all time high. We begin to share our feelings, our hopes, our fears and what we want in our future. We want to be near other people and learn more about them. We crave the connection. 

 

So how do we create relationships and more connection, especially potential dating relationships, in a time when we can’t leave our homes?  I know dating can be challenging in itself let alone in a quarantine. So let’s be creative and have some fun with it! I’ve created a list of 7 things to do during the quarantine to make your dating life more successful. 

 

  1.  This is the time to join several online dating sites and start swiping.  Even if you wrote off online dating it’s time to give it a try again. Just think of the millions of singles that are stuck at home and looking for conversation or something to do.  Now more than ever more singles are online dating. Major online dating sites are seeing a boost in the number of messages and registrations. And some are seeing an increase of 30% more messages. 
  2. Everything has slowed down which means we’re taking more time to have conversations.  We’re not rushing through a dinner date or off to the next event we have to go to. So this is the perfect time to get to know your date. What are their heart centered qualities?  What can you find out that’s great about them? Really get to know them for who they are. You never know what great connections you’ll make during this time. Use the 36 Questions that Lead to Love by Arthur Aron. 
  3. Most importantly make sure you’re taking care of you.  Use this time to practice extra self care. Have you been putting off starting an exercise routine, eating healthier or reading a self development book?  Now is the perfect time to start. Some other practices to help you during this time could be journaling or meditating. Just make sure you’re focusing on practicing self love daily.  
  4. Once you find someone you’d like to meet in person plan a virtual date.  Set up a time for a video chat on Skype or Facetime. Make the date special by being creative.  Send your date a bottle of wine, flowers or the same takeout you’re having. Come up with a fun icebreaker game like two truths and a lie, play Heads Up or play the 5 Second Rule Game.  You could even cook a new receipe together, watch a movie or learn a new skill while video chatting.
  5. Try a virtual speed dating party! The best part is you’ll get to meet multiple people in one night that you otherwise might not ever meet. Each date is only a 3-5 minutes long and if you like them you’ll get to connect with your compatible matches after the party.   Check out SwoonMe Events for more information.
  6. Check out virtual happy hours.  A lot of niche groups are offering virtual happy hours where everyone can join on a video conference call setting.  Check out local meetup groups and see what they have to offer. When we connect with people who enjoy similar interests and activities it opens the doors to possible new amazing connections. 
  7. Or set up your own virtual happy hour.  Invite 5 friends and have each friend invite 5 other friends over a video conferencing software.  And make sure your friends know to invite some of their cute single friends or family members! The virtual happy hour could turn into a wine tasting or trivia night.  

 

You never know who you could meet even while social distancing.  Remember to keep your options open and try something new each week to keep the connections flowing.  Soon this will be over and you’ll have a great stories to tell of who you met while in quarantine. 

 

Modern Dating:  Better or Worse?

Modern Dating: Better or Worse?

Dating has changed so much over the last decade. The norm for finding love use to be staying in a relationship with your high school sweetheart or finding someone in college or at the local bar.

Today we can find potential amazing matches across hundreds of miles and connect with people with various lifestyles. Technology, dating apps & online dating sites are right at our fingertips. We are so use to convenience and having everything in our reach at a moments notice that this comes into play with our dating life.

So you think modern dating would be much easier than a decade ago but it often seems harder to find that perfect match. We could have dates multiple times during the week with all the dating apps out there! And when this happens expectations often get distorted. We start always looking for the next best thing. Instead of focusing on what we need vs what we want we lose sight of a true great match.

Want to know the best tips to succeed in modern dating? I have 9 tips to help you date successfully, have fun and find love.

1. Know your self worth.

Focus on creating a healthy self love and acceptance of yourself. Be the best version of you. If you want someone with a 10 personality be a 10. Also find your passions and who you are as a person before you bring someone else into your life.

2. Set realistic expectations.

I see people that set unrealistic expectations so much! And it always sets them up for failure. Focus on your needs vs any unrealistic wants. What are your values and non negotiables? If you have an attractive partner but the values are off the relationship will most likely end in heartbreak. Know your standards and values before you start dating. And make that your #1 priority in a partner.

3.  Be open minded about where and with whom you could find love.

Don’t limit finding love to certain social circles or demographics. Really reach out and find new places to hang out and make an effort to meet new people.

4.  Be bold.

If you see a cute guy at the coffee shop or on the elevator, talk to him! You never know what amazing connection you could make. Don’t take the chance of missing the man or girl of your dreams because of fear. Making new connections is so important!

5.  Be true to you.

Do not try to become someone just because you think someone will like you more. You are beautifully uniquely you. Continue to grow into the person you are meant to be. But don’t change your passions and core values for some else. You will end up miserable and this is not living authentic.

6. Let go of the past.

One of the most important steps to finding love is moving forward. Don’t hold on to your ex. There is a reason the relationship ended. Why are you dwelling on a relationship that is over? Why stay with a person that didn’t choose you when there is someone out there that would do anything to be with you?

7. Forgive.

Recognize your past hurts, feel all the hurt and pain and then let it go. We all have stories to tell of heartbreak, unfaithfulness, abuse, and the unthinkable. You are better than all the pain in your life. You were made with a purpose. Forgive those who hurt you and move ahead. Do not let them have one more piece of your precious energy. Use your energy on healing and creating healthy relationships.

8.  Practice loving yourself.

Surround yourself with things that make your soul smile. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look. Speak and think positive life giving thoughts. When we know our worth that begins to reflect in the relationships we chose. Which is more healthy relationships.

9.  Finally, don’t give up hope.

The perfect match is out there. Sometimes it takes time to find true love. It’s just a matter of weeding out all the bad dates and finding that one amazing partner. All the scars from the dating battlefield will be worth it I promise.

Now tell me how you’re actively dating and looking for love with all the modern technology advances? I’d love to hear all your stories!
XO, Amanda