I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.
They show up. They do the work and they’re the ones that find the best dates.
Every single time.
When I see people becoming the best version of themselves they are the successful ones.
They are the ones that make things happen.
They don’t give up. They don’t nag and complain. They’re patient with the process and don’t rush it.
They are the ones that have interesting dating lives and enjoy the journey.
If I could give you just one tip today. It would be to become the best version of yourself. Learn how to be happy without someone. Learn how to date yourself.
When we can achieve these things we start to attract higher quality people, more dates, and more love and happiness into our lives.
I had someone tell me that they couldn’t be happy and fulfilled until they found the “one.” I tried to explain to this person that you are your “one.” You have to become whole without someone else. When we become whole before finding our partner we have more to offer. A partner is not meant to complete us. A partner is meant to compliment us. Creating the idea that we need to find someone to make us whole puts a whole lot of pressure on another person. That’s pressure that no one should have to bear.
When we approach dating with the mindset that we “need” someone to make us whole we put blocks on the dating process. We block healthy whole people from coming into our lives, we sabotage relationships and create unhealthy patterns immediately.
This is why it’s so important to create a life that you’re fulfilled with before finding your “one.” Your one will just compliment your life and make it even better. You’ll also attract more high quality dates when you are filled with happiness, passion and gratitude for the life you already have.
I challenge you to create the life of your dreams now not “after you find a partner, after you get that job, after this or that.” Why are you waiting on doing things you love? Why are you waiting based on future wants?
Do those things now! Right now stop what you’re doing and take one baby step towards doing something you’ve always wanted to do.
Book that trip.
Take that class.
Go on the date.
Start that business.
Write the book.
Whatever it is take a step to fulfilling your dreams and life now. And as you do you’ll notice the old dating patterns start to fade, maybe you’re no longer attracted to half assers, you become fulfilled and you expect the same in your date. It’s like magic when you put two souls together that are already fulfilled. Those are the couples that make big things happen. That create goals and dreams together.
I launched a Podcast a few months ago and I just realized I forgot to put it on the blog! I’d love for you to go over and join me on the podcast. I’ll be talking about everything dating, love, relationships, and more!
I want this to be an unfiltered, raw, full of tips podcast. I’ll be bringing on SPECIAL guests to bring different perspectives, topics and expertise to the show.
So I’d love your suggestions on what you would like to hear on the podcast. Send me all your questions, comments, juicy dating stories and more! Also be sure to subscribe, share and review the podcast! The link to the podcast is below.
I love spring and how it represents growth and upcoming warm weather! I’m preparing to do some spring cleaning and declutter as we prepare to move into a new house. It makes space for new beautiful things that I can bring into my life. The thing is we don’t just have to spring clean our house, we can do a relationship cleanse. We can do some spring cleaning in our love life to prepare to manifest love.
When we make space for love we invite more love in. If our life is full of clutter from past relationships we block love. New fresh love can not flow in when we hold on to the past. We have to declutter our hearts, our hurts and our disappointments to allow new relationships to flow to us. When we do this we start to energetically cut the cords of the past and allow new opportunities into our life.
When I started to spring clean my love life I started to let go and release all the things of past relationships and also started to make room in my house. I got rid of anything representing past relationships including jewelry, pictures, gifts and more. Then I started clearing out space to let someone new in my life.
Are you ready to make space for someone new? This is how to do it:
Release energetic ties to past lovers. This is one of the most important and essential steps to find a new healthy love. Any ties with past lovers and relationships will keep us from finding a new healthy relationship. We have to release the ties to let new love in. You might be thinking but I’m over my ex why do I need to release energetic ties?
Energetic ties are made with each relationship. These ties can be emotional, traumatic, sexual, broken promises, hurts, disappointments and all the memories that tie us together. When we don’t properly let go and heal from a past relationship the energetic ties remain in place. When we still have energy going out to a past relationship in any form it will block a new relationship. The block can come in the form of not finding a new healthy relationship, repeating past relationship patterns, creating limiting beliefs around love, and creating conflict and emotional blocks in new relationships.
Make room in your home. Start clearing out clutter and anything tied to past relationships. Make space in your closet for the partner that is coming to you. Clean out your bedroom and make it a peaceful sanctuary. Throw away any gifts from past partners, lingerie that you once wore, photos and any other object that represents your past relationships.
Clear space in your life. Are you working too much? Do you have anytime to date? Start clearing time each week to find love or date. If your schedule is too packed for a little free time how do you expect someone else to fit in? To find love we have to be intentional and take action to create a life that allows love in. So until you have a date scheduled on that free Tuesday night practice self love, go to a new place, attend an event. The universe responds when we show up. And you never know who you’ll meet in the long run.
What are you going to do this week to spring clean your love life? Drop your experiences below. I’d love to hear how it goes!
It’s a new year! A time for new beginnings, getting clear on what you want and making it happen in 2018.
Every year I sit down and write intentions for the new year. Intentions on what I want to happen in the new year. It’s been everything from business goals, travel to exciting places, to relationships. Did you know you can be intentional about your relationships? You can manifest what you want in your relationships and create the life you’re madly obsessed with.
And if you’re reading this you’re probably single because it’s all about dating. And that’s what I’m here for. I’m here to take you from being single to creating a life you’re absolutely in love with, with the one you love.
So here’s the thing… you have to be intentional with where you want to be 1 year, 5 years and 10 years from now.
You might have received a certain degree to get to the job you have right? The job didn’t come without putting in the effort to get there. The same thing apply’s to finding true healthy life long love. It takes work. It takes commitment. It takes inspired action.
So my question to you is are you being intentional with your dating life? Are you clear on the type of relationship you want?
If you’re not crystal clear and intentional on what you want to bring in your life then you’ll bring all kinds of distractions. You’ll waste time on dates that go no where. You’ll waste time on heartbreak, confusion and lots of questioning about why you’re not where you want to be.
Here’s the thing…you are what you attract. You can manifest the life of your dreams. You can manifest the relationship of your dreams. And it starts with being intentional and crystal clear in your dating life. 2018 is the year for high quality dates, for less heartbreak, for more self love and to find the one.
In the video below I’ve included 3 Steps to Manifest Your Soulmate. Check it out. Apply the steps and watch the magic happen.