Are Relationships Hard?
I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
- Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
- Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
- Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.
What if you missed a Soul Connection?
Life is a beautiful journey. A journey to be embraced, to experience deeply and to love wholeheartedly. I’m convinced people miss soul connections by being close minded to the world. When we stay in our own little closed off bubble to the rest of the world we miss out on the beauty that was designed just for us to experience. We miss beautiful experiences, places and people. I am always awestruck by the people I get to connect with across the world. The lifestyles, the accents, the people fascinate me. What if we looked at love and soul connections with a more open mind and heart? Would we love more? Would we find love faster and fall deeper? Would we experience breathtaking passion more than heartbreak? I’m some how convinced we would. So let’s focus on living with vulnerability and wholeheartedness. Approach each potential connection with an open mind of what the connection could bring into your life. Don’t dare miss your next soul connection.
5 ways you might miss a soul connection:
- You limit your demographic connection. The world is full of possibilities and beautiful connections. If we limit our connections to our own town or city then we are missing out on so many beautifully designed people. People who could spark something in our soul that we have never experienced before. People who could bring us new experiences. Never limit connection by demographics. I have talked to the most amazing people across the world. They broaden my world and make me crave new experiences. The world has so much to teach us, it would be a shame to narrow our possibilities all for convenience.
2. You keep your expectations unreachable. When looking for a soulmate experience it is important to stay true to your values, core beliefs and self. However, don’t let superficial reasons get in the way of connecting with another soul. People often limit connections based solely on someone’s appearance or on a false impression. We forget to dig into who the person really is and we disregard the person before really learning about who they are. We may miss the most beautiful souls due to superficial rejections. Are you really willing to miss the most amazing love affair of your life due to someone not having the exact height or hair color that you seek?
3. Social circles may influence who we keep out of our lives. Don’t let your friends determine your love life. If the kind hearted country boy steals your city girl heart go with it. Soulmate romantic love can be rare. When you find it cherish it.
4. We make limitations on age. I often see women put limitations on age. For example, even though a woman may be pushing 40, she won’t date a man over 40. This cuts the dating pool dramatically. When we make such tight expectations on who we will and will not date we lower our chances of finding a soulmate and just a date in general.
5. We stay focused on our phone instead of the people around us. Make it a point to stay off your phone while in line for coffee, look up, smile and say hello to those standing near you. My conscious thought is what if I miss a connection, a life changing connection. You never know who will cross your path and I would hate to miss a soul connection because I was disengaged in the world around me.
We miss out on beautiful soul connections that will rock our world by the high expectations we place on finding the ideal partner. Soul connections offer us growth, passion, love or just teach us a beautiful lesson. Sometimes the connection comes from the most unexpecting person. We need to keep our heart open so that we do not miss these divine connections. What would it look like if we traveled through life with an open heart and mind so that we embrace the beauty that comes before us? That is a life worth living.
I launched a Podcast a few months ago and I just realized I forgot to put it on the blog! I’d love for you to go over and join me on the podcast. I’ll be talking about everything dating, love, relationships, and more!
I want this to be an unfiltered, raw, full of tips podcast. I’ll be bringing on SPECIAL guests to bring different perspectives, topics and expertise to the show.
So I’d love your suggestions on what you would like to hear on the podcast. Send me all your questions, comments, juicy dating stories and more! Also be sure to subscribe, share and review the podcast! The link to the podcast is below.
Can’t wait to hear from you!
Are you frustrated with online dating?
Are you tired of all the ghosting? The conversations that get no where? The casual daters that seem to only want a hook up?
If you’re frustrated and not getting the results you want then a change needs to be made.
It’s time to attract high quality dates, date successfully and be consistent about finding love. It’s time to step out of comfort zones, create the life you love and step into living your best life.
Online dating can be frustrating. There’s millions of singles dating online and sometimes finding a good date is like finding a needle in a haystack. But I promise there’s hope!
Let’s make 2018 the year that everything changes and you find love! Here’s 7 Rules of Online Dating you don’t want to miss.
1. Ditch the Dealbreakers
Of course we all have dealbreakers and you should! However when a profile is full of what you don’t want it automatically sends bad vibes out there. A profile full of all the negatives gives the impression that the person is negative. No one wants to date a negative Nancy. When you have a list of all the things you don’t want in your profile you’ll have some great dates swipe right on by. A potential date doesn’t want someone that seems impossible to please.
That 10 year old photo might only get you to the first date. If you want to get past the first date and find a relationship make sure you’re honest from the get go. Post current photos, don’t lie about your age, occupation or interests. Just don’t lie. Why would you want to ruin a good thing by lying? Find someone who likes you for who you are not someone who likes you based upon false beliefs.
3. Kick the 3 Day Rule to the Curb
Ask yourself do you want a relationship based on playing games or an authentic relationship. If you want something real don’t play the dating games. If you’re interested in someone text or call them. If they’re interested then they’ll respond. If you’re reading this then you’re probably an adult and the bottom line is you’re too old to be playing dating games. If you want a real authentic relationship then you have to act like it. Remember you attract what you are. Do you really want someone who plays games?
There’s nothing worse than seeing a shirtless bathroom selfie or too much cleavage. Again you attract what you put out there. Do you want someone that respects you or just wants a hook up from anybody they can get their hands on? Think about what you’re attracting. Profile pictures that show too much skin attract less quality dates.
5. Leave Your Baggage Behind
A profile should be positive and engaging not filled with ex drama. Don’t talk about your ex or past relationships in your profile. This is an immediate turn off. It shows that you’re not over your past and you’ll bring it into the next relationship. Talk about who you are now and take the steps to heal from your past. I promise you’ll find better dates when you let the past go.
Finding quality dates is not magic and they definitely don’t fall from a tree. It takes consistency and not giving up. Stay on the dating site for a few months. Respond to messages of those that you’re interested in and go on dates.
What is your profile saying about you? Come up with a catchy and flirty profile that increases curiosity and engagement. Instead of the normal “I love to travel and the beach,” talk about your most interesting travel experience. Also be sure to stay positive, friendly and fun. The people who look more approachable get more swipes and dates! Make your profile stand out from the rest and write something different.
Now go right now and change up that profile, get online and start dating! Let’s make 2018 the best year for finding you love! Let me know how it goes in the comments below. For more dating advice check out my new course Meet Your Match Online Dating Bundle where you’ll learn all my secrets to successfully date online.