Are Relationships Hard?
I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
- Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
- Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
- Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.
Dating Boutique™ Matchmakers Fill the Gap Between Impersonal Dating Sites & Expensive Dating Services
I was super honored to be featured in DatingNews.com!
The article gives an inside glimpse into our company and what’s to come…
The Scoop: Matchmaker Amanda Rose founded a boutique matchmaking firm, aptly named Dating Boutique, to stake out a middle ground between impersonal dating sites and expensive introduction services. She makes a point to ensure her dating services are accessible to relationship-minded singles of all backgrounds and budgets. Though Dating Boutique offers high-end matchmaking for the wealthy, it also runs singles events that are open to the public. Plus, in the last year, the firm has allowed singles to join its database for a low monthly fee, thus empowering the average dater to use its national network to find love for themselves. Today, Amanda has combined high-tech matching tools with her matchmaking experience and intuition to create a streamlined system for finding a compatible partner…
Read the entire article HERE!
Are you frustrated with online dating?
Are you tired of all the ghosting? The conversations that get no where? The casual daters that seem to only want a hook up?
If you’re frustrated and not getting the results you want then a change needs to be made.
It’s time to attract high quality dates, date successfully and be consistent about finding love. It’s time to step out of comfort zones, create the life you love and step into living your best life.
Online dating can be frustrating. There’s millions of singles dating online and sometimes finding a good date is like finding a needle in a haystack. But I promise there’s hope!
Let’s make 2018 the year that everything changes and you find love! Here’s 7 Rules of Online Dating you don’t want to miss.
1. Ditch the Dealbreakers
Of course we all have dealbreakers and you should! However when a profile is full of what you don’t want it automatically sends bad vibes out there. A profile full of all the negatives gives the impression that the person is negative. No one wants to date a negative Nancy. When you have a list of all the things you don’t want in your profile you’ll have some great dates swipe right on by. A potential date doesn’t want someone that seems impossible to please.
That 10 year old photo might only get you to the first date. If you want to get past the first date and find a relationship make sure you’re honest from the get go. Post current photos, don’t lie about your age, occupation or interests. Just don’t lie. Why would you want to ruin a good thing by lying? Find someone who likes you for who you are not someone who likes you based upon false beliefs.
3. Kick the 3 Day Rule to the Curb
Ask yourself do you want a relationship based on playing games or an authentic relationship. If you want something real don’t play the dating games. If you’re interested in someone text or call them. If they’re interested then they’ll respond. If you’re reading this then you’re probably an adult and the bottom line is you’re too old to be playing dating games. If you want a real authentic relationship then you have to act like it. Remember you attract what you are. Do you really want someone who plays games?
There’s nothing worse than seeing a shirtless bathroom selfie or too much cleavage. Again you attract what you put out there. Do you want someone that respects you or just wants a hook up from anybody they can get their hands on? Think about what you’re attracting. Profile pictures that show too much skin attract less quality dates.
5. Leave Your Baggage Behind
A profile should be positive and engaging not filled with ex drama. Don’t talk about your ex or past relationships in your profile. This is an immediate turn off. It shows that you’re not over your past and you’ll bring it into the next relationship. Talk about who you are now and take the steps to heal from your past. I promise you’ll find better dates when you let the past go.
Finding quality dates is not magic and they definitely don’t fall from a tree. It takes consistency and not giving up. Stay on the dating site for a few months. Respond to messages of those that you’re interested in and go on dates.
What is your profile saying about you? Come up with a catchy and flirty profile that increases curiosity and engagement. Instead of the normal “I love to travel and the beach,” talk about your most interesting travel experience. Also be sure to stay positive, friendly and fun. The people who look more approachable get more swipes and dates! Make your profile stand out from the rest and write something different.
Now go right now and change up that profile, get online and start dating! Let’s make 2018 the best year for finding you love! Let me know how it goes in the comments below. For more dating advice check out my new course Meet Your Match Online Dating Bundle where you’ll learn all my secrets to successfully date online.
Here’s the thing if you don’t make the commitment in anything in life you’re not going to succeed. That means failed relationships, failed businesses, failed health and failed dreams. I’ve been there. I’ve made the half ass commitment and seen dreams disappear and relationships fail. It wasn’t until recently that the half ass commitment mentality hit me. Since this is a page all about relationships I’ll relate it to that but we can half ass anything in life.
You can’t have a successful relationship without committing to the process. You can’t half ass the relationship and expect great results. You have to put your whole ass in. It’s the same with trying to find a relationship. I have people come to me wanting to use my services but they can’t even commit to a consultation call! They don’t make the commitment to make the call time work with their schedule, they don’t show up for the call, the don’t show up to do the work. But they still complain about their dating life. They wonder why they aren’t finding high quality commitment minded dates. They wonder what they’re doing wrong. They wonder why they keep falling into the same dating patterns with no success. It’s because of the half ass mentality. They are not showing up to do the work. I can immediately see why it’s not working for them. They’re not committed they’re just interested.
You have to become committed to the process in whatever you want in life. If you don’t you’ll see failure more than success. You have to become committed to becoming the best version of yourself, identifying what isn’t working, making the change, being committed to the change and continue to move forward. Commitment is not easy. It comes with icky “holy moly that limiting behavior is still in me” constant growth ah ha moments.
How are you going to show up in your dating life? Are you committed to finding someone and creating an amazing life giving relationship? Or are you just interested in the thought of dating, possibly finding someone?
Do some deep soul searching when answering that question. I had to recently. I had the ah ha holy moly that limiting belief is still in me. I immediately recognized that it was holding me back. I was not committed to a process in a particular situation in my life. And I hadn’t been for years because of past heartbreak. When I recognized it, it was the most freeing feeling and it felt damn good to get it out there and begin the process of growth.
If you’re committed to the process of finding high quality dates and finding the one it’s time to get to work. Men don’t magically fall from the trees. Show up, become the best version of yourself and see the shift start to take place.