Dating has changed so much over the last decade. The norm for finding love use to be staying in a relationship with your high school sweetheart or finding someone in college or at the local bar.
Today we can find potential amazing matches across hundreds of miles and connect with people with various lifestyles. Technology, dating apps & online dating sites are right at our fingertips. We are so use to convenience and having everything in our reach at a moments notice that this comes into play with our dating life.
So you think modern dating would be much easier than a decade ago but it often seems harder to find that perfect match. We could have dates multiple times during the week with all the dating apps out there! And when this happens expectations often get distorted. We start always looking for the next best thing. Instead of focusing on what we need vs what we want we lose sight of a true great match.
Want to know the best tips to succeed in modern dating? I have 9 tips to help you date successfully, have fun and find love.
1. Know your self worth.
Focus on creating a healthy self love and acceptance of yourself. Be the best version of you. If you want someone with a 10 personality be a 10. Also find your passions and who you are as a person before you bring someone else into your life.
2. Set realistic expectations.
I see people that set unrealistic expectations so much! And it always sets them up for failure. Focus on your needs vs any unrealistic wants. What are your values and non negotiables? If you have an attractive partner but the values are off the relationship will most likely end in heartbreak. Know your standards and values before you start dating. And make that your #1 priority in a partner.
3. Be open minded about where and with whom you could find love.
Don’t limit finding love to certain social circles or demographics. Really reach out and find new places to hang out and make an effort to meet new people.
4. Be bold.
If you see a cute guy at the coffee shop or on the elevator, talk to him! You never know what amazing connection you could make. Don’t take the chance of missing the man or girl of your dreams because of fear. Making new connections is so important!
5. Be true to you.
Do not try to become someone just because you think someone will like you more. You are beautifully uniquely you. Continue to grow into the person you are meant to be. But don’t change your passions and core values for some else. You will end up miserable and this is not living authentic.
6. Let go of the past.
One of the most important steps to finding love is moving forward. Don’t hold on to your ex. There is a reason the relationship ended. Why are you dwelling on a relationship that is over? Why stay with a person that didn’t choose you when there is someone out there that would do anything to be with you?
Recognize your past hurts, feel all the hurt and pain and then let it go. We all have stories to tell of heartbreak, unfaithfulness, abuse, and the unthinkable. You are better than all the pain in your life. You were made with a purpose. Forgive those who hurt you and move ahead. Do not let them have one more piece of your precious energy. Use your energy on healing and creating healthy relationships.
8. Practice loving yourself.
Surround yourself with things that make your soul smile. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look. Speak and think positive life giving thoughts. When we know our worth that begins to reflect in the relationships we chose. Which is more healthy relationships.
9. Finally, don’t give up hope.
The perfect match is out there. Sometimes it takes time to find true love. It’s just a matter of weeding out all the bad dates and finding that one amazing partner. All the scars from the dating battlefield will be worth it I promise.
Now tell me how you’re actively dating and looking for love with all the modern technology advances? I’d love to hear all your stories!
I love spring and how it represents growth and upcoming warm weather! I’m preparing to do some spring cleaning and declutter as we prepare to move into a new house. It makes space for new beautiful things that I can bring into my life. The thing is we don’t just have to spring clean our house, we can do a relationship cleanse. We can do some spring cleaning in our love life to prepare to manifest love.
When we make space for love we invite more love in. If our life is full of clutter from past relationships we block love. New fresh love can not flow in when we hold on to the past. We have to declutter our hearts, our hurts and our disappointments to allow new relationships to flow to us. When we do this we start to energetically cut the cords of the past and allow new opportunities into our life.
When I started to spring clean my love life I started to let go and release all the things of past relationships and also started to make room in my house. I got rid of anything representing past relationships including jewelry, pictures, gifts and more. Then I started clearing out space to let someone new in my life.
Are you ready to make space for someone new? This is how to do it:
Release energetic ties to past lovers. This is one of the most important and essential steps to find a new healthy love. Any ties with past lovers and relationships will keep us from finding a new healthy relationship. We have to release the ties to let new love in. You might be thinking but I’m over my ex why do I need to release energetic ties?
Energetic ties are made with each relationship. These ties can be emotional, traumatic, sexual, broken promises, hurts, disappointments and all the memories that tie us together. When we don’t properly let go and heal from a past relationship the energetic ties remain in place. When we still have energy going out to a past relationship in any form it will block a new relationship. The block can come in the form of not finding a new healthy relationship, repeating past relationship patterns, creating limiting beliefs around love, and creating conflict and emotional blocks in new relationships.
Make room in your home. Start clearing out clutter and anything tied to past relationships. Make space in your closet for the partner that is coming to you. Clean out your bedroom and make it a peaceful sanctuary. Throw away any gifts from past partners, lingerie that you once wore, photos and any other object that represents your past relationships.
Clear space in your life. Are you working too much? Do you have anytime to date? Start clearing time each week to find love or date. If your schedule is too packed for a little free time how do you expect someone else to fit in? To find love we have to be intentional and take action to create a life that allows love in. So until you have a date scheduled on that free Tuesday night practice self love, go to a new place, attend an event. The universe responds when we show up. And you never know who you’ll meet in the long run.
What are you going to do this week to spring clean your love life? Drop your experiences below. I’d love to hear how it goes!
Are you tired of all the ghosting? The conversations that get no where? The casual daters that seem to only want a hook up?
If you’re frustrated and not getting the results you want then a change needs to be made.
It’s time to attract high quality dates, date successfully and be consistent about finding love. It’s time to step out of comfort zones, create the life you love and step into living your best life.
Online dating can be frustrating. There’s millions of singles dating online and sometimes finding a good date is like finding a needle in a haystack. But I promise there’s hope!
Let’s make 2018 the year that everything changes and you find love! Here’s 7 Rules of Online Dating you don’t want to miss.
1. Ditch the Dealbreakers
Of course we all have dealbreakers and you should! However when a profile is full of what you don’t want it automatically sends bad vibes out there. A profile full of all the negatives gives the impression that the person is negative. No one wants to date a negative Nancy. When you have a list of all the things you don’t want in your profile you’ll have some great dates swipe right on by. A potential date doesn’t want someone that seems impossible to please.
2. Honesty is Key
That 10 year old photo might only get you to the first date. If you want to get past the first date and find a relationship make sure you’re honest from the get go. Post current photos, don’t lie about your age, occupation or interests. Just don’t lie. Why would you want to ruin a good thing by lying? Find someone who likes you for who you are not someone who likes you based upon false beliefs.
3. Kick the 3 Day Rule to the Curb
Ask yourself do you want a relationship based on playing games or an authentic relationship. If you want something real don’t play the dating games. If you’re interested in someone text or call them. If they’re interested then they’ll respond. If you’re reading this then you’re probably an adult and the bottom line is you’re too old to be playing dating games. If you want a real authentic relationship then you have to act like it. Remember you attract what you are. Do you really want someone who plays games?
4. Classy is Sexy
There’s nothing worse than seeing a shirtless bathroom selfie or too much cleavage. Again you attract what you put out there. Do you want someone that respects you or just wants a hook up from anybody they can get their hands on? Think about what you’re attracting. Profile pictures that show too much skin attract less quality dates.
5. Leave Your Baggage Behind
A profile should be positive and engaging not filled with ex drama. Don’t talk about your ex or past relationships in your profile. This is an immediate turn off. It shows that you’re not over your past and you’ll bring it into the next relationship. Talk about who you are now and take the steps to heal from your past. I promise you’ll find better dates when you let the past go.
6. Be Consistent
Finding quality dates is not magic and they definitely don’t fall from a tree. It takes consistency and not giving up. Stay on the dating site for a few months. Respond to messages of those that you’re interested in and go on dates.
7. Stay Positive and Fun
What is your profile saying about you? Come up with a catchy and flirty profile that increases curiosity and engagement. Instead of the normal “I love to travel and the beach,” talk about your most interesting travel experience. Also be sure to stay positive, friendly and fun. The people who look more approachable get more swipes and dates! Make your profile stand out from the rest and write something different.
Now go right now and change up that profile, get online and start dating! Let’s make 2018 the best year for finding you love! Let me know how it goes in the comments below. For more dating advice check out my new course Meet Your Match Online Dating Bundle where you’ll learn all my secrets to successfully date online.
You’ve been hurt, your heart has been broken way too many times to count, and you’re stuck wondering are all men like this? Do you just wait for the ball to drop with each and every date?
The thing about dating is we’ve all had our heart broken. We’ve all experienced broken trust or crushed expectations in one form or the other. It sucks, it hurts and it can be damn hard to love and trust again. But the truth of it is…that new date is NOT your ex. He’s not the guy who broke your heart. He is a brand spankin new person with new qualities, new traits and new things to bring into your life.
And then this happens…we start to look for the red flags and what could possibly be wrong with this person before getting to know their heart? When we look for the bad before really getting to know someone we can immediately set up the relationship for failure. We start to nit pick qualities, we start to compare them to an ex, we look for ways that could stop a good thing before it even gets going.
But what if we completely changed how we approached our date? What if we focused on looking for a date’s strengths instead of immediately looking for things that could go wrong? If we approach a date with a positive mindset and look for the good qualities instead of focusing on the bad the whole dynamic changes. Instead of writing someone off immediately because of a superficial qualities we may find a hidden gem underneath it all.
I want to challenge you. On your next date look at the man across from you and ask yourself what is amazing about this person? Is he respectful to the waiter? Is he funny? Does he talk with passion about things significant to him?
Of course if the date is just horrible from the beginning and the date is totally disrespectful there’s no need to continue to pull out possible good qualities. Just don’t write off a potentially great date before it even starts.
When I was dating here’s what I would do…I would focus on what is amazing about this person? What can I learn about them? I would forget about all the things that could go wrong and instead focus on all the things that could possibly go right. When I made this simple mindset shift around the dating process my dating life completely changed. I not only apply this to my dating life but all my relationships. I have a deeper appreciation for the people that are in my life. I constantly look for how they’re amazing and why I’m so grateful that I have them in my life.
So I challenge you to walk into your next date thinking “what is amazing about this person?” I promise they’ll feel your positive energy, the date will be more relaxed and you’ll have a lot more fun.