Dating has changed so much over the last decade. The norm for finding love use to be staying in a relationship with your high school sweetheart or finding someone in college or at the local bar.
Today we can find potential amazing matches across hundreds of miles and connect with people with various lifestyles. Technology, dating apps & online dating sites are right at our fingertips. We are so use to convenience and having everything in our reach at a moments notice that this comes into play with our dating life.
So you think modern dating would be much easier than a decade ago but it often seems harder to find that perfect match. We could have dates multiple times during the week with all the dating apps out there! And when this happens expectations often get distorted. We start always looking for the next best thing. Instead of focusing on what we need vs what we want we lose sight of a true great match.
Want to know the best tips to succeed in modern dating? I have 9 tips to help you date successfully, have fun and find love.
1. Know your self worth.
Focus on creating a healthy self love and acceptance of yourself. Be the best version of you. If you want someone with a 10 personality be a 10. Also find your passions and who you are as a person before you bring someone else into your life.
2. Set realistic expectations.
I see people that set unrealistic expectations so much! And it always sets them up for failure. Focus on your needs vs any unrealistic wants. What are your values and non negotiables? If you have an attractive partner but the values are off the relationship will most likely end in heartbreak. Know your standards and values before you start dating. And make that your #1 priority in a partner.
3. Be open minded about where and with whom you could find love.
Don’t limit finding love to certain social circles or demographics. Really reach out and find new places to hang out and make an effort to meet new people.
4. Be bold.
If you see a cute guy at the coffee shop or on the elevator, talk to him! You never know what amazing connection you could make. Don’t take the chance of missing the man or girl of your dreams because of fear. Making new connections is so important!
5. Be true to you.
Do not try to become someone just because you think someone will like you more. You are beautifully uniquely you. Continue to grow into the person you are meant to be. But don’t change your passions and core values for some else. You will end up miserable and this is not living authentic.
6. Let go of the past.
One of the most important steps to finding love is moving forward. Don’t hold on to your ex. There is a reason the relationship ended. Why are you dwelling on a relationship that is over? Why stay with a person that didn’t choose you when there is someone out there that would do anything to be with you?
Recognize your past hurts, feel all the hurt and pain and then let it go. We all have stories to tell of heartbreak, unfaithfulness, abuse, and the unthinkable. You are better than all the pain in your life. You were made with a purpose. Forgive those who hurt you and move ahead. Do not let them have one more piece of your precious energy. Use your energy on healing and creating healthy relationships.
8. Practice loving yourself.
Surround yourself with things that make your soul smile. Look in the mirror and tell yourself how great you look. Speak and think positive life giving thoughts. When we know our worth that begins to reflect in the relationships we chose. Which is more healthy relationships.
9. Finally, don’t give up hope.
The perfect match is out there. Sometimes it takes time to find true love. It’s just a matter of weeding out all the bad dates and finding that one amazing partner. All the scars from the dating battlefield will be worth it I promise.
Now tell me how you’re actively dating and looking for love with all the modern technology advances? I’d love to hear all your stories!
I felt like I had to put this out there because I don’t know how many times someone saw my online dating profile and then searched for my social media pages. I think it’s totally okay to check out someone’s social media accounts, it gives an extra glimpse into who they are. However, I highly recommend not to message them on the online dating site and then on all their social media accounts and then message them again when they don’t respond… Yes I’ve had that happen on several occasions. It looks creepy and gives out the wrong vibe. I even had a couple guys get mad at me for not responding to them after I obviously didn’t swipe right on Tinder. I’m like “I don’t even know you!”
So when it comes to online dating don’t cyber stalk. If someone doesn’t respond to your first or second message or your right swipe don’t track them down on social media. Cyber stalking looks desperate, is creepy and will not win you a date. However it might win you a restraining order. If you’re not getting a response from one person just move on to the next. You’ll connect with the right person. You can’t force a connection that’s not there. Also keep yourself safe from cyber stalking. If you have an erry feeling about someone delete them and don’t respond.
Also resist the urge to social media stalk someone new that you’re dating. Why are you checking up on someone that you’re newly dating? It’s easy to take things that you see on social media and over analyze what’s actually going on. I’ve seen many people cause unnecessary drama in a new relationship over something they saw on social media. Get to know someone for who they are not for what you see online. Unless of course their social media is filled with pictures of them and their spouse or any other major red flags! Then you know just to run in the opposite direction. Otherwise if they seem quite normal then let social media go for a while and get to know them.
Create a Catchy Intro!
How many times have you received a new message from a possible date with the words “Hi” “Hey” or “How are you?” Probably too many times to count! It’s time to spice it up! Do you want to stand out from the crowd or do you want to blend in with the rest of the millions of singles online? That’s why I created this Become Your Own Matchmaker Online Dating Series so that you can date successfully and stand out above all the rest!
In today’s tip I’m going to share with you a few tips on how to create an introduction that stands out. Remember you only have 7 seconds to make a great 1st impression and usually only have ONE chance to get someone to respond back. So it’s important to make that introduction catchy, cute and NOT creepy!
When writing a stellar introduction it’s important to remember a few tricks.
- Use proper grammar. Bad grammar online is a turn off. Including texting slang and abbreviations. Stay away from ur, u, wat, r, yo and everything in between.
- An introduction should not focus on physical compliments. You might think it’s a nice to send compliments like “You’re gorgeous” or “Hey sexy” but it looks like you’re focusing on physical traits more than getting to know someone for who they are as a person. Especially if you’re a guy sending this to a girl often it makes women feel a little creeped out because we wonder is that your pick up line for all girls. Are you just focusing on someone for their looks or do you really want to get to know me as a person?
- Don’t use the horrible H’s, the “Hi” “Hey” or “How are you?” This is your time to get their attention. Instead of the normal hi and how are you’s ask a creative question. This will up your chances of them actually reading your message and getting a response.
- Most important be flirty & confident! When you radiate with friendliness, fun and common respect (without using Hey Sexy) you’re more likely to get responses from high quality dates.
Want a list of creative introductions and more ideas on how to be successful with online dating? Sign up for my Become Your Own Matchmaker: Online Dating Series Course HERE!