One of my favorite parts of my job is hosting singles events. Our events are a great way to create connection with people who otherwise would never meet. So we’ve designed it so that everyone gets to meet and engage in conversation. After seeing hundreds of singles at my events I started to notice patterns. I noticed who was going to be successful and who wasn’t going to be successful.
So I’ve created some key takeaways to help you be successful at making connections at events and even out and about.
Watch the video below for some key tips on how to make the most of your next event.
I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.
Life is a beautiful journey. A journey to be embraced, to experience deeply and to love wholeheartedly. I’m convinced people miss soul connections by being close minded to the world. When we stay in our own little closed off bubble to the rest of the world we miss out on the beauty that was designed just for us to experience. We miss beautiful experiences, places and people. I am always awestruck by the people I get to connect with across the world. The lifestyles, the accents, the people fascinate me. What if we looked at love and soul connections with a more open mind and heart? Would we love more? Would we find love faster and fall deeper? Would we experience breathtaking passion more than heartbreak? I’m some how convinced we would. So let’s focus on living with vulnerability and wholeheartedness. Approach each potential connection with an open mind of what the connection could bring into your life. Don’t dare miss your next soul connection.
5 ways you might miss a soul connection:
You limit your demographic connection. The world is full of possibilities and beautiful connections. If we limit our connections to our own town or city then we are missing out on so many beautifully designed people. People who could spark something in our soul that we have never experienced before. People who could bring us new experiences. Never limit connection by demographics. I have talked to the most amazing people across the world. They broaden my world and make me crave new experiences. The world has so much to teach us, it would be a shame to narrow our possibilities all for convenience.
2. You keep your expectations unreachable. When looking for a soulmate experience it is important to stay true to your values, core beliefs and self. However, don’t let superficial reasons get in the way of connecting with another soul. People often limit connections based solely on someone’s appearance or on a false impression. We forget to dig into who the person really is and we disregard the person before really learning about who they are. We may miss the most beautiful souls due to superficial rejections. Are you really willing to miss the most amazing love affair of your life due to someone not having the exact height or hair color that you seek?
3. Social circles may influence who we keep out of our lives. Don’t let your friends determine your love life. If the kind hearted country boy steals your city girl heart go with it. Soulmate romantic love can be rare. When you find it cherish it.
4. We make limitations on age. I often see women put limitations on age. For example, even though a woman may be pushing 40, she won’t date a man over 40. This cuts the dating pool dramatically. When we make such tight expectations on who we will and will not date we lower our chances of finding a soulmate and just a date in general.
5. We stay focused on our phone instead of the people around us. Make it a point to stay off your phone while in line for coffee, look up, smile and say hello to those standing near you. My conscious thought is what if I miss a connection, a life changing connection. You never know who will cross your path and I would hate to miss a soul connection because I was disengaged in the world around me.
We miss out on beautiful soul connections that will rock our world by the high expectations we place on finding the ideal partner. Soul connections offer us growth, passion, love or just teach us a beautiful lesson. Sometimes the connection comes from the most unexpecting person. We need to keep our heart open so that we do not miss these divine connections. What would it look like if we traveled through life with an open heart and mind so that we embrace the beauty that comes before us? That is a life worth living.
They show up. They do the work and they’re the ones that find the best dates.
Every single time.
When I see people becoming the best version of themselves they are the successful ones.
They are the ones that make things happen.
They don’t give up. They don’t nag and complain. They’re patient with the process and don’t rush it.
They are the ones that have interesting dating lives and enjoy the journey.
If I could give you just one tip today. It would be to become the best version of yourself. Learn how to be happy without someone. Learn how to date yourself.
When we can achieve these things we start to attract higher quality people, more dates, and more love and happiness into our lives.
I had someone tell me that they couldn’t be happy and fulfilled until they found the “one.” I tried to explain to this person that you are your “one.” You have to become whole without someone else. When we become whole before finding our partner we have more to offer. A partner is not meant to complete us. A partner is meant to compliment us. Creating the idea that we need to find someone to make us whole puts a whole lot of pressure on another person. That’s pressure that no one should have to bear.
When we approach dating with the mindset that we “need” someone to make us whole we put blocks on the dating process. We block healthy whole people from coming into our lives, we sabotage relationships and create unhealthy patterns immediately.
This is why it’s so important to create a life that you’re fulfilled with before finding your “one.” Your one will just compliment your life and make it even better. You’ll also attract more high quality dates when you are filled with happiness, passion and gratitude for the life you already have.
I challenge you to create the life of your dreams now not “after you find a partner, after you get that job, after this or that.” Why are you waiting on doing things you love? Why are you waiting based on future wants?
Do those things now! Right now stop what you’re doing and take one baby step towards doing something you’ve always wanted to do.
Book that trip.
Take that class.
Go on the date.
Start that business.
Write the book.
Whatever it is take a step to fulfilling your dreams and life now. And as you do you’ll notice the old dating patterns start to fade, maybe you’re no longer attracted to half assers, you become fulfilled and you expect the same in your date. It’s like magic when you put two souls together that are already fulfilled. Those are the couples that make big things happen. That create goals and dreams together.
✨ You let go of past toxic dating & relationship patterns. You recognize what’s not working, what’s caused heartbreak and you do everything possible to heal and fix it. You make the conscious decision to stop the bad dating cycle.
✨You recognize you’re the common denominator in past relationships. This was hard for me! After one failed relationship after another I had to figure out why I was choosing the wrong men. What was the common factor? The answer was ME! I was choosing bad dating patterns and relationships. This is where major self love, healing and reflection comes in. We have to come face to face with our own inner issues and go through the process to create the best love possible.
✨Once we begin to heal and practice self love we begin to attract others who are healed and will love us in a healthy manner. We treat others how to treat us. So if your self love is on fire and mindset is healthy regarding relationships you’ll start to attract high quality men that treat you the same.
✨Set intentions when dating. Date with purpose. Date men that exhibit amazing characteristics and values. Don’t focus on physical or materialistic aspects. Focus on the qualities that will create life long relationships.
✨You quickly let go of those that are not high quality. Instead of wishing or trying to fix a man you let go because you know you deserve better. You pay attention to someone’s true colors the first time because you know that you can’t change someone. When you let go you make room for something better to come in.
✨You seek constant growth individually and in a relationship. Comfort zones are the most dangerous places to be.
✨You tune into your own femininity and beauty. When our vibe is high it shows through our smile, our words and it draws people in. Take time to do something that makes you feel beautiful today. Maybe a spa day, a bubble bath, a manicure…choose one thing and make it happen.