Are Relationships Hard?
I was reading an article about signs to look for if a partner is cheating. Normally I wouldn’t even read an article with that topic but it was written by a proclaimed “dating expert.” The article listed several signs to look for but the kicker was that each sign was something positive in a relationship. For example, it stated that if “he’s more affectionate, he helps you around the house, he gives you compliments” it’s all signs he’s cheating. I couldn’t believe what I was reading!
Here’s the thing relationships are meant to be GOOD! Yes every relationship faces challenges but the foundation of a relationship is supposed to be good. We’re supposed to be affectionate, help each other and complement each other. The signs of cheating are not when you’re relationship is going great. The signs of cheating are when you’re relationship is missing something like compliments, attention and affection.
So please don’t pick a part your partner and think omg they’re being so nice to me he must be cheating. That’s absurd! Instead be grateful, express your appreciation and do something nice in return. When we over analyze and immediately think the worse in a relationship we’ll attract just that.
When I was dating I went into each date with the mindset “what is great about this person?” Of course there were some dates that I couldn’t find much but then there was that one date that changed my life. When I met my boyfriend for the first time I found out all kinds of great things about him. And still to this day I focus on all his amazing qualities. I don’t focus on what could go wrong or something that annoys me. I focus on all the things that make me fall in love with him more and more each day.
When we choose a mindset of love we see more love in others. We also attract better relationships. When we choose a mindset of assumption, negativity or we’re always looking for the worst even in someone’s acts of kindness then we set ourselves up for unhealthy relationships and failure.
Relationships are meant to compliment us. They are meant to offer us growth, security, love, acts of service and trust. So yes relationships are meant to be good! Find someone that treats you with love and affection is what you deserve. Expect and see the best in your partner and see how the dynamic of the relationships shifts.
Here are 3 tips to expect an amazing relationship
- Practice self love. We teach other people how to love us. When we practice self love and respect we expect it from others. We tend to stay away from toxic people, behaviors and relationships when we have a healthy sense of self.
- Often we put limiting beliefs on our partner without realizing it and to no fault of their own. If you were in a bad relationship in the past remember your new partner is NOT your past partner. Going into a relationship with false judgements or assumptions is asking for a failed relationship. I often see single people saying “There’s no more good men/women out there.” They’re automatically setting themselves up for a failed bad relationship. Every time a limiting belief pops up about your relationship replace it with something positive.
- Practice gratitude towards your partner. Think of 5 things each day you’re grateful for about your partner. If you’re single think of 5 things you’re thankful for like family, friends or a night out. And keep an attitude of gratitude while dating. Your energy is powerful when meeting new people. Have you noticed how you can immediately sense if someone is uninterested or has a bad attitude? It goes both ways!
To sum it up yes relationships take work but every good thing does. One time I had a woman tell me that her relationship was all rainbows and butterflies. I sat there thinking to myself yep you’re going to break up soon. And a few months later they did. Relationships are not always all rainbows and butterflies. It’s a combination of beauty, fun, work, anger, frustrations, growth, learning and a deep love. It’s a combination of all those things mixed together. That’s what makes a great relationship! Expect the good in your partner, grow together and don’t expect relationships to be hard but have the mindset that relationships are an area of growth, of creating deep love and moving towards a common goal together.